Your Queries

Jan Leeming

Shoreham 2007

Shoreham Airshow 2007
Me looking brave before taking to the air (and the wing) of the plane. Wow, it was cold !! But the whole experience was totally exhilarating.

 

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Jan's Blog

Computers and the internet are amazing things. One of my concerns with putting together this site was that it could remain current, yet with all my travelling I've often much to say, but little time to say it. Years ago when reading the news it would take me days on end to reply to the kind letters people sent. Now, with the magic of the modern age, I can keep you up to date with what I'm doing and other events in my life.

YOUR QUERIES

Date: 11th February 2016

Your kindness, concern, attention, and questions have got me beaten. I concede defeat. I am so sorry but I simply cannot continue replying individually to all of you lovely people. I got through about 200 but the last episode of Marigold  brought hundreds more gmails so will you forgive me if I try and address all the questions etc. in one major Blog.

I feel like an Agony Aunt without the staff. I’ve experienced so much in my life and though at times I didn’t feel I’d get through, I did. My parents divorced when I was seven and my sister was a baby - to make matters worse my father took me and my mother took my sister so we didn't even have each other. In my early twenties, my fiancé died in a car crash. I’ve had many failed relationships - why do I go for womanising men!!!!! I suppose because they are adventurous and romantic. Why did I choose two of the most insecure professions - theatre and television and go through the ‘agonies’ of being in and out of work, the rejection etc. Anyway, I think I’ve made the point and although I will have to paraphrase it Nietzsche said ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. I have to say that I feel the most empathy for those of you who’ve had long and happy marriages - it must be like losing a limb to lose a loved one who had been part of your life for so long. It may sound trite but ‘Time’ really does heal all wounds - I should know.

INVITATIONS

I can’t thank you enough for all your kind invitations and I’d love to take up your offers but there aren’t enough days in the week and I’d need to be constantly in my car driving from venue to venue all over the country. I am alone but I’m not ‘lonely’ most of the time and I do have good friends but not many are in the immediate neighbourhood and many now have grandchildren so they are busy.

ADVICE ON BEING ALONE

Many of you, both men and women, have told me about your loneliness through being divorced, widowed or ‘abandoned’. I wish I could put balm on your wounds but what I would advise - and it is something I’ve done so many times when I’ve been in a ‘bad place’- Join an Adult Education Class or some such organisation. I’ve learned to paint in Watercolours; have made many lovely items at Silver Classes; and jewellery in jewellery classes. I’ve attended local classes in ‘Card Making’ and even almost made a gorgeous little Teddy Bear - I am a perfectionist and not the best with a sewing machine so when everyone else finished the day with a complete Teddy - mine still had the stuffing hanging out of his arms and he is sitting dejectedly in the corner of the room waiting to be finished.
I didn't go to these classes looking for friendship but in some cases I did find it. I just needed to be occupied. Like Rosemary said on Marigold - I have to be busy.

I’m not a sporty person but I’m sure there are clubs you could join.
BUT DON’T JUST SIT INDOORS MOPING. People will come to you when you reach out to them - how are they to know your needs if you don’t get out there and start living again.

CLOTHES

I have answered that one in a previous Blog. I spend more on Winter Clothes than Summer - in fact many of my summer clothes pack themselves they have been around so long - we don’t have much call for a summer wardrobe in this country.  I tend to mix expensive and non expensive.  I'd rather go to a Sale and get something classy and expensive and as I dress classicly am not a slave to fashion.  I don't often get tempted into making a mistake but there are some and they usually get worn once and then taken to the local Hospice Shop.  One little tip - don't wait for that Special Occasion to buy a lovely outfit.  If you see something gorgeous - really you - buy it and wait for the occasion to come,  I have clothes in the wardrobe still with the price tags but inevitably that occasion arises and I don't have to rush around in a panic making wrong choices.  Many many years ago I was able to buy a gorgeous Zandra Rhodes beaded dress in a Sale.  It was in the wardrobe for ages and then I wore if for my last wedding - right dress, wrong man!!!!!!!!  I'd like to put in a smiley here.

Good accessories can make or break an outfit and they can certainly enhance greatly.

 

HEALTH AND LOOKING YOUNGER THAN ONE'S YEARS 

Answered in a previous blog but I forgot to say that I’ve been on HRT since I was 47 years old. I’ve tried homeopathic alternatives but none have worked and I’d rather put up with the slight risks and enjoy the many advantages. In fact two gynaecologists advised that the benefits far outweigh the risks.

 

RELATIONS

Delighted to report that I have now found a Great Uncle and Aunt on my mother’s paternal side. I knew nothing of their existence - they even have photos of me as a little girl which I’ve never seen. Can’t wait to meet them. And am now in touch with the niece of one of my dearest friends who died ten years ago.

But afraid I’m not related to any Leemings. It is a name taken by Deed Poll when I was 19. I never married Leeming so am not Mrs. anything. Like Miss Elizabeth Taylor (without the diamonds) I am Miss/Ms Leeming. Leeming is my professional name.

I have a sister called Gilly and a half sister - Mandy. Sadly no brothers.

Our father always wanted a boy and he got three girls and I’m the only one with an offspring - my beloved son Jonathan - nearly 35 and living in Australia.

 

SINGLES HOLIDAYS

Can’t answer this one although I know companies do exist which offer the facility but they probably still work out more expensive than doubles. I suppose it is not financially viable for Hotels/Guest Houses/B & B’s to offer single rooms. When I was looking at driving down to Provence solo there were almost no B & B’s offering single rooms. Mind you, when I’ve been away with my friends who live in Provence, they only pay a few Euros more for a double room (in the Aveyron, Ardennes region) than I do for a single so maybe one has to bite the bullet and pay for a double.

 

FACEBOOK

I do have an account but only to keep up with my son’s activities. So I’m afraid I don’t accept ‘Friends’ and it is nothing against any of you individually but I don't have enough time. When I do write Blogs they are time consuming and I try to write well and in an interesting way. I’ve now been drawn into Twitter but I shall only send a Tweet if I see some lovely pictures or a piece of good advice, etc.

 

MORE MARIGOLD

So many of you have expressed the wish that there had been six in the series. Who knows? The BBC and Two Four are delighted with the response so Maybe!

Whether they’d take the same team or choose others remains to be seen. I’d certainly love to go to other places and discover how viable it would be to retire there. 

However, what I'd really like is to get my teeth into more indepth interviewing.  When I wasn't being filmed on Marigold I unearthed some really interesting information on many of the places and people we visited and there is so much more to be shown.  I'd love to make a documentary/documentaries about the Rajput family of Rajasthan - fascinating.  I once wrote the preface to a book on the Palaces of Gujurat - that's another fantastic place.  And so many people are interested in history that you could make documentaries forever about 'Incredible India'.


When I was regularly making documentaries etc. we had to shoot on a ratio of 3 to 1 because film and developing was time consuming and pricey. These days with digital, far too much is shot and the difficulty lies in the editing. Mind you, I’ve also fallen into the trap. When decisions had to be made about taking photos you gave a thought to the cost of developing. I now take far too many photos, rarely get them printed and have ended up with over 24,000 photos in the iPhoto Library and that is only 6 years worth.
I took over 1,500 photos in India and have now subbed them down to a more manageable 500. This time I have put together a proper photo album and had 200 photos processed and printed. So I’ll have a record which I can pick up and look over any time I wish. And I will eventually compile another Talk to add to my repertoire.  Am going to make an album of my Australian holiday. After all, how often does one look at the offerings in your Computer library!

I THINK AND HOPE I’VE COVERED ALL YOUR QUERIES AND ONCE AGAIN ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO REPLY INDIVIDUALLY.  I've still not got round to last week's ironing - the flat is a mess and I can't see the carpet in my study for paperwork strewn all over the floor.

JAN 

What do you think? Send your feedback to contact@jan-leeming.com.