Internet Dating

Jan Leeming

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Jan's Blog

Computers and the internet are amazing things. One of my concerns with putting together this site was that it could remain current, yet with all my travelling I've often much to say, but little time to say it. Years ago when reading the news it would take me days on end to reply to the kind letters people sent. Now, with the magic of the modern age, I can keep you up to date with what I'm doing and other events in my life.


Date: 8th May 2009


I read recently that in the USA one in eight marriages has come about through the Internet.  And why not - it is the modern way of meeting people and carrying far less risk than being picked up at a party or in a bar.  (Let me hastily add here that the very last thing I want is another marriage - one husband broke my heart and another broke the bank balance)

OK so I confess - for those of you who didn't already know - I ventured down that path in September last year.  I've been on my own now for eight years - I am not lonely but I am alone and it is not a state I enjoy.  There is a pre-supposition that someone who has been in the public eye and is 'famous' must be rich and have a fantastic social life.  For many of my era, this is simply not the case.  We worked hard, met very interesting people, had a lot of fun and were not that well paid  - the 'megabucks' of today were simply unheard of and also most of we women presenters were paid far less than the men who did the same job.

By default, I have ended up in a sleepy part of East Kent where there is not much of a life for a single and especially not a single woman.  There is very little culture and our one main theatre, the Marlow in Canterbury, has now closed down for 2 years for refurbishment.

As a single woman, you are often excluded from gatherings either because they don't want an odd number round the table or .................

So a friend suggested I joined an Internet Site.  I'd thought about it but dismissed it for fear of what the press might say.  Anyway, late one Friday night I signed up for the Telegraph Dating Site - reasoning that people on that site would have fairly similar Political views and would be relatively well educated.   I had tremendous fun for 36 hours until the dreaded phone-call from my Agent.  I'd been rumbled - and they had a field day with me.  I did however turn a negative into a positive and on 'This Morning' I defended the use of Internet Dating - their site shot up with new members and my own website was inundated with hits. 

I'm afraid I caved in and shut down the site - with hindsight I shouldn't have let the papers get to me but they did.

However, when I was in South Africa, another friend recommended a site there. In SA I have anonymity and  had a great deal of fun for several months - most of the fun was just emailing (through the Internet not one's personal email).  I met a few gentlemen for coffee or dinner and it was a darned sight better than sitting in twiddling my thumbs.

But I made one very big mistake.  I also joined a Corporate Dating Agency which turned out to be a total 'No-No'.  I partly blame myself in that I didn't ask the right questions.  Fiona Dorse has a very impressive Website and says all the right things - yes she can introduce people but she can't put that 'magic' that 'coup de foudre' if it's not there.  That is totally understandable.  However, I didn't realise that all she does is give you a list of phone numbers and you have to Cold Call.  I didn't even get to that stage as I waited three weeks for her to contact me - the usual English reserve and when I asked why she'd not been in touch, was told I had to phone her with a pen and paper handy.  Sorry, maybe younger women would do this - Cold Call a gentleman -  but I certainly wouldn't. 

It is said that to ASSUME is to make an 'ASS' out of 'U' and 'ME'. Well I assumed that she would email with some details and a photo of a prospective male and would do the same to him and then ask if we'd like to meet.  WRONG.  She just gives you phone numbers.  I did meet one gentleman purely because he too had joined under a misapprehension - he was 64 years of age and one of the phone numbers he was given was of a 38 year old - I don't think I would call that a 'compatible match'.  So at R4000 - an expensive mistake which I would never make again.  But I do partly blame myself because I simply didn't ask the right questions of Ms. Dorse.

She talked about Client Confidentiality but a friend of mine was running a Sushi Making Evening and thought it might be the kind of function that some of Corporate Dating's singles might like to attend.  She was offered a list of phone numbers for R3000 - the equivalent of about £250!!

So if you are out there and you are not getting to meet people, you are far better off on an Internet Site e.g.  Kindred Spirits in the UK and DatingBuzz in SA.  The fee is about £15 or R150 a month and the permutations are endless.  I go to a wonderful Sports Therapist in SA called Jodie Louw - it was he who told me about the site because his Mother in Law was just about to marry a doctor from Jo'burg whom she'd met through Dating Buzz.

Good luck to Ms. Dorse and Corporate Dating,  but I think one is  far better off on the Internet where you get A photograph and up to three pages of information - everything from Work to Hobbies to Religion etc. and so forth.  And there's an automated Computer match which will suggest whether or not you might be compatible.

Have a go - you've nothing to lose and you might - just might - find the love of your life or make some very nice friends.


Bye for now, Jan




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